Love, Hatred, and Good Byes

Hallo, pertama kali post sesuatu di tahun 2016 ini. Fortunately, my tumblr acc is not dead yet. 

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Kali ini (biasa banget opening nyaa wkwk), okay ganti..post ini akan berisi tentang…. 

Kenapa gue (karena penulis ga mau nulis secara kaku/formal kita sepakatan kalau mulai tadi dan sekarang kita (maksudnya gue wkwk) akan pakai kata gue dan lo sepanjang jalan cerita, Deal ? *hening*) kasih judul Love, Hatred, and Good Byes ?

Jadi..hari ini ada beberapa kejadian, salah satunya adalah gue keluar (literally : pulang) dari kelas disaat dosen lagi ngajar. Alasannya karena gue ga tahan lagi sama pikiran gue yg randomly/ga jelas saat itu, gue ga bisa fokus belajar disaat gue dan pacar (well im single rn btw) gue saat itu lagi ada masalah dan gue harus terus nahan perasaan solah-olah semuanya baik-baik aja.

Im not gonna tell you guys the problem. Sorry.

Its not his fault. Its all my fault for my stupidity for easily trusting someone. (You got me right ?).

Stop lying behind everybody’s back. You’re going to get caught soon or later. Believe me.

Kembali lagi ke kejadian tadi, gw langsung mutusin untuk masukin semua barang (buku, pulpen, hp) ke dalam tas dan keluar dari kelas. At this moment, i was thinking that he might be chasing after me, which is totally wrong. I looked back and he wan’t there. Then, i keep pacing my feet to the Halte Transjakarta near my campus. TADAAAA, he came. Ga mengejutkan sama sekali kalau dia bakal ada jauh waktu setelah gue cukup jauh jalan. But its okay, i really want to go home as soon as possible. I got super tired of thinking randomly.

He said sorry. But hey Let’s play Take a Bow by Rihanna. And see the lyrics.

Gue mau ngutip liriknya itu lagu

Don’t tell me you’re sorry ‘cause you’re not
Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now (but it’s over now)
Go on and take a bow

You got me,  right?

Lo ga perlu minta maaf karena lo ga salah. Lo cuma minta maaf disaat ketahuan aja~ 

So the point is It’s not his fault.

Sekarang gue pingin.. diam bertapa dan lebih sadar sama diri gue sendiri.

i was so lonely for a long time, and even until right now i think i still am.

Dari dahulu kala, udah biasa ga dianggap sama teman(deket?) sendiri. Dan saat gue tau kalau dia udah diam diam ga suka sama sama gue, gue akan menjauh dari orang itu. Its just that simple. Gue ga mau pura-pura kalau gue terima diperlakuin buruk sama orang. Jadi, lebih baik gue yg mundur dari orang-orang yg emang ga suka sama keberadaan gue.

I am not hating the persons who dislike or hate or hurted me. I just wanna say better i’m leaving for goodness. Someone told me that lying is acceptable as long as is it for good reason. Well, Leaving for good reason is acceptable too, i guess ? 

Another random thoughts tonight..hmm i remembered that Good Bye stands for the words, God be with you.

I can not end this post with my own words. I do hate Good Byes. So, i am gonna end this with one quote.

“I’ve never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. The pain is like an axe that chops my heart. ”   ― Yann Martel, Life of Pi

bittersweetcalum:

IMAGINE BEING SOMEONES FAVOURITE BLOG

OR BEING AN ACCOUNT EVERYONE RECOMMENDS YOU TO WHEN NEW FANS ASK

OR BEING THE PRETTY ONE

OR JUST BEING REMOTELY AVERAGE

YEAH

THAT WOULD BE NICE